My Game Plan: How to Be the Husband God Calls Me to Be

If you’re a Christian husband who wants to strengthen his marriage and honor God’s design, you’re in the right place. I’m sharing my journey on how to be a better Christian husband, with insights from the Bible and my own experiences.

Love in Action: More Than Just Bills

The Bible says:

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” – Ephesians 5:25

That means providing, yes, but it’s deeper than just bills. I remember getting so wrapped up in work I barely noticed my wife’s stress. We started weekly date nights to reconnect – a small act that showed my love through presence, not just paychecks.

Leading by Listening: Not a One-Man Show

Being a leader starts with listening. It’s about setting the spiritual tone, like suggesting we pray together. Proverbs 18:13 reminds us:

“Whoever answers before listening—it is his folly and shame.”

Big decisions shouldn’t be a one-man show. When we were choosing a house, I realized I was steamrolling things. I slowed down, valued her opinion, and her dream home surprised me! Compromise wasn’t easy, but it led to a place we both love.

The Secret Power of Serving: Big Wins in Small Gestures

Serving isn’t weakness, it’s strength. Taking on chores shows I’m invested. That mountain of dirty dishes? It used to be a battleground. Now, I tackle it sometimes so she can relax. It’s a small gesture, but it speaks volumes. Matthew 23:11 reminds us:

“The greatest among you will be your servant.”

Taming My Inner Warrior: Patience is a Superpower

Let’s be real – patience is not my natural gift. It’s more like I tend to have a short fuse. Last week it backfired, big time. We were talking about something minor – I honestly can’t even remember what started it.

But instead of listening, I got defensive. I raised my voice, said things I shouldn’t have. The argument ended, but the damage didn’t. My wife was quiet, hurt. That look in her eyes…it stayed with me all day.

The worst part is, this isn’t new. I have these blow-ups where I lose control, and then the guilt afterwards hits hard. I want to be a patient husband, but sometimes I feel like a ticking time bomb. Proverbs 16:32 cuts deep:

“Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.”

That’s the kind of man I want to be, but it feels like a battle I keep losing.

Taking Responsibility: I’m realizing I need to own my triggers. Stress is a big one, and when I’m tired, it’s like my filter disappears. I’m trying those old tricks – count to ten, take a deep breath. Helps a bit, but honestly, what’s making the biggest difference right now is walking away.

Stepping outside, even for 5 minutes, and praying. Just saying to God, “I’m messing this up, I need your help to calm down.”

It’s Not Instant: I wish I could say it’s suddenly fixed. It’s more like two steps forward, one step back. But even the small wins feel huge. The other day, I felt that anger surge, and instead of exploding, I walked away.

When I came back, we actually could talk, and we resolved the issue. That night, she said she’s noticing the effort, and it meant the world.

A Book that Helped: A Powerful Resource

Reading “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman was a real eye-opener for me. Before, I thought if I worked hard, provided for my family, and tried to be a good guy, that would be enough. But this book showed me love isn’t one-size-fits-all. We all have different ways of feeling loved and valued.

The Big Discovery: My wife’s primary love language is “Acts of Service,” while mine is “Words of Affirmation.”

I always showered her with compliments and told her how much I loved her, but chores fell to the wayside. Meanwhile, she was doing little things to serve me that I barely noticed. We were both loving each other, but missing the mark!

How It Changed Things: Once I realized this, it was like a lightbulb went off. Instead of just saying “thank you,” I started tackling tasks without being asked – washing the car, cleaning the kitchen after she cooks. And I’ve become more intentional about verbalizing my appreciation. I tell her even the small things I admire, things I used to take for granted.

The Result: Our connection deepened. Before, there was this underlying tension. Now, it feels like we’re speaking the same language. Less misunderstandings, less resentment, and a whole lot more joy in the simple, everyday things we do for each other.

This is a Marathon, Not a Sprint: Growing Together

There will be setbacks, but this is my commitment – to keep growing as a husband, leaning on God for help. Every little win matters. Last night, my wife said she feels loved and seen. That’s more rewarding than any achievement at work.

Being a good husband isn’t just about making her happy, it’s about honouring God and the incredible responsibility He’s entrusted to me.

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