Am I a good Christian mom? Do any of us ever know? Some lucky few may feel confident in their parenting, but most of us are probably just stumbling through it, doing the best we can with what God gave us.
A friend of mine swears that if we’re even asking this question in the first place, it means we are doing a good job, because we’re consciously trying to improve and be better. We love our children and want desperately to be good parents. But how do we know if we’re doing it right?
Doing the Next Right Thing
Some studies show that being a good mom comes just as much from experience, from learning “on the job,” as it does from some innate mothering instinct.
Maybe good parenting is simply making a series of next right choices. It’s in the little things. I once heard a priest say that mothers go to heaven because they are constantly practicing acts of mercy—feeding the hungry, caring for the sick, comforting the sorrowful.
Motherhood is a marathon, not a sprint. In her book Love Warrior, author Glennon Doyle describes it as more like climbing Mount Everest—itself a herculean task of gradual acclimation, done over a period of weeks, with two steps back for every one step forward, accomplished with a million tiny, carefully chosen movements.
Am I a Good Christian Mom? How Do I Know?
It doesn’t help that the world’s wisdom is constantly changing. Spend more quality time with your kids. Do more for yourself. Zealously guard their safety. Teach independence. Limit screen time. Practice gentle parenting. Be a Tiger Mom. Be a stay-at-home mom. Be a powerful girl boss.
But as Christians, we know the truth. Our job is not to get our kids into a good college. Our job is to get them into heaven.
Making the team, finding success, being well-liked—we want so much for our children, but only one good thing really matters.
So, here are some ways we can answer the question, Am I a good Christian Mom?
Are We Teaching Our Children Well?
A great place to start is with Bible stories. My kids were partial to The Beginner’s Bible, but there are many beautiful children’s Bibles and Christian books out there. Reading these often can help reinforce Christian values of love, kindness, obedience, and mercy at an early age.
My own mother gave me children’s biographies of Christian saints, who modeled love, sacrifice, and standing up for the right thing even when the consequences were scary.
Role models like these, for children who idolize social media influencers and live streamers, can help our kids become “arrows” (Psalm 125:4), sharp and steadfast for God.
Are We Building Up Treasure in Heaven?
In Matthew 19, a man asks Jesus what he must do to gain eternal life. Jesus names the commandments, but tells him that if he really wants to live a godly life, he must sell his possessions, give to the poor, and follow Jesus.
Clearly, this isn’t a practical path for parents raising little ones. (What would we do without that rocker or cherished stuffed animal?) But it reminds us to train our eyes on heaven as the prize.
Look for opportunities to encourage children to donate old toys. To share their lunch in the cafeteria if someone is hungry. To offer an encouraging word to someone who is struggling. To live every day asking themselves what Jesus would do, and value that more than buying a new video game or gaining social media likes.
Are We Praying for Our Kids?
Time is one of the best gifts we can give our kids. But as Christian parents, that sacrifice of time goes further. Not only do we need quality time with them, we need to spend time petitioning God on behalf of their souls.
Spend time in prayer every day for your children. Bring God your worries, fears, and hopes for them. Ask Him to unravel those thorny, convoluted problems you’re unsure how to address.
Most of all, pray to receive God’s unconditional love for your children. Yes, parenting is a marathon; it’s not always a comfortable journey, and we don’t always feel gratitude.
But if we pray for the grace to love our children as God loves us, completely and unconditionally, our love, our parenting, will be easier and more Christlike.
Are We Praying for Ourselves?
Practice self-care! the wellness blogs insist. True, self-care is essential, like an oxygen mask on a plane. Going for a walk or getting a pedicure (or, for mothers of very young children, going to the bathroom alone) are wonderful stress-relievers. But real self-care is reconnecting with our Source: God.
We are created in God’s image. He is in us. If we aren’t connecting with Him, we’re missing the most significant part of ourselves. That’s why we fall into traps like loneliness, resentment, frustration, and bitterness. There is a space in our soul only God can fill.
So care for your precious and holy self because God created you. Surrender to Him the things that worry you, the things you dream for your family’s future.
Pray for the gifts of the Holy Spirit and for God to grow those gifts in you. Pray that you will be able to answer yes to the question, “Am I a Good Christian Mom?”
If God has given you this role, He wants it for you. He will grant you the desires of your heart.
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