How to Stop Hating Someone: Get Rid of the Burden of Hate

What the world needs now is love, sweet love

Hate is a strong word and an equally strong emotion. However calm, reasonable, or loving you consider yourself, you have probably experienced it at some point.

It may have been a quick flash of anger and hatred for someone who inconvenienced you at a terrible time. Or it could be a long and festering wound in your heart for something you felt deeply hurt.

Whatever your story is, you do not want to hold on to hate. It is not only the ugliest but also the unhealthiest of emotions that we are capable of. If you are not careful, it will consume you and make you bitter.

Now more than ever, the world is desperate for love—love for each other, the animals, and the earth itself. And it all starts with figuring out how to stop hating someone.

Let’s examine what causes such intense negativity and how you can free yourself of the burden. 

The burden of hate

What many of us do not realize about hate is that it is not just a short-term emotion. It significantly impacts our lives long after we get over the hurt feelings and anger associated with it.

And the longer you hold on to it, the worse the effects you will have to deal with.

Some of the long-term effects of hate include:

  • Depression
  • Bitterness
  • Disintegration of other relationships
  • Reduced overall functionality
  • Self-isolation

What the Bible says

Unsurprisingly, the Bible does not focus too much on hatred as a direct theme. Instead, the spotlight is on love and how we can use it to change our lives and those of others. There are, of course, several texts that directly address hatred. Let’s take a look at a couple of them.

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice”

Ephesians 4:31

“Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers all wrongs”

Proverbs 10:12

For every one of these texts, there are countless others talking about love and its power. This is because, after all, the absolute best way to fight hatred is by embracing the light and positivity brought about by love.

So, if you are trying to figure out how to stop hating someone who hurt you, then you now know where to start: love.

How to stop hating someone who hurt you

There is a lot at stake when it comes to dealing with feelings of hatred. Not only does it pose a danger to your mental and emotional health, but it is also a requirement from God that we swap it for love. Here is how to stop hating someone to help you get on the right path.

1. Accept your feelings

One of the biggest enemies of progress when it comes to dealing with hatred is denial. The truth is that it is sometimes embarrassing to accept that you feel like you hate someone. You may feel they are not worth the energy and refuse to accept your feelings.

By taking the opposite approach and acknowledging your anger and hurt feelings, you will be better positioned to move forward with a clear head.

2. Learn how to forgive

The best way to stop hating someone who hurt you is to just let it go. Whether it was a small wrong or a great injustice, there is not much that can be done to reverse it.

So, free yourself of the burden of hatred and learn to forgive. This does not mean that you condone the actions of those who hurt you. It just means that your peace of mind matters more to you.

3. Open up about what hurt you

Do not let your anger simmer inside of you. It never ends well. It will lead to toxic feelings and bitterness, only worsening matters. Instead, find someone who offers an emotional safe space and rant about it.

In fact, if possible, confront the object of your hatred and let them know that they hurt you.

4. Don’t take things too personally, even when they are

A lot of hatred stems from anger. A lot of anger stems from misunderstanding. Therefore, one of the best ways to deal with hatred is by taking things easy.

Try your best to give the benefit of the doubt. If it was intentional harm to you, then look at it as a problem on their side, not yours.

5. Get another perspective

While we are on the topic of misunderstandings, you may want to get a different perspective on how to stop hating someone who hurt you.

You might see yourself as the one on the right in your head, but a new perspective could change your mind and soften your heart.

6. Let go and mean

It is not enough to forgive. You have to let go of those negative feelings, not just by word of mouth. No one expects you to move from hate to absolute adoration overnight.

But at the very least, be willing to take the necessary steps to move away from the toxic emotions.

7. Take it to the Lord in prayer

Dealing with hatred is not an easy fight. It is a strong emotion that will fight hard to stay put in your heart. God is truly the best person to fight this fight for you as the very author of love itself. So ask Him for help.

8. Pray for a person you hate

When you pray for someone you hate, you ask God to bless them. You may be surprised that your heart begins to soften toward that person when you do this. You may even start to care about them. You are also opening yourself up to receive God’s love and forgiveness for yourself.

Go forth and spread love

There is so much hatred simmering in the bowels of our earth. Whether it is at a personal level or more of a negative community effort, it definitely needs to be addressed before it consumes us all.

So, take all you have learned from the scriptures and our eight tips on how to stop hating someone and use them to free yourself of the toxic load.

2 responses to “How to Stop Hating Someone: Get Rid of the Burden of Hate”

  1. munyaradzi Avatar

    Thise was really helpfull especially no.4

  2. Kaye Wilson Avatar
    Kaye Wilson

    This was very good! I’m really struggling with bordering hating someone but here’s the thing that person has no idea I despise them. I recently found out something they did 44 years ago that has affected me and I can’t let it go. I’m a Christian so I know I’m not to hate and I’m trying hard to let it go but it’s consuming me.

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