Anger is something we all have to deal with, no matter who we are, Christian or not. As long as we are alive, we will always face situations that arouse anger.
My Own Anger Issues
I remember being angry at life for more reasons than I knew at the time. I had little or no tolerance for people. I hated, and I cursed. If I didn’t like you, you had no chance.
Even after becoming a Christian, I still found it difficult to control my anger. As a Christian, things were different, but I still struggled with my reactions to provocation.
I never apologized, even if I felt sorry. Looking back now, I cringe at the person I would have become had God not helped me.
I Lost Something
Growing up, despite my anger, I had a likable personality that attracted everyone to me, especially in the church. So, I grew in leadership—but I didn’t outgrow my anger.
Then one day, I let it get the best of me, and I ruined a relationship as well as a long-awaited shot at a promotion long overdue.
This struck something in me. Instead of getting angry this time, I sought help from my pastor. He prayed for me, and he encouraged me to talk to God about it and seek more materials both from scriptures and other sources.
Advice Well Taken
I began to read about people like me who had this issue and whom God had helped. I was desperate, but I had faith that I could improve.
One of the most profound lessons I learned during this time didn’t come directly from the Bible; it came from an article on the impact of not having control over anger.
God used this article and other sources, and I began to see changes. Although I still get angry today, my anger does not get the best of me anymore.
Understand Where Anger Comes From
Just like fire, anger is only dangerous when out of control or abused. God created you and gave you the ability to be angry for a reason.
People will always get under your skin. Not everyone will like you or do what you like all the time, and this can make them offend you.
You see, anger is our way of reacting to negative feelings about things. Anger gives us a way to express how we feel about something that has been done to us and how it troubles us. It can motivate us to solve problems, too.
We know from scripture that even God gets angry, but His anger is directed at sin and the ungodliness of the sinful:
“God is a righteous judge, and a God who has indignation every day.”
Psalm 7:11
Remember that it is not your anger itself that is the problem, but what it produces if given the driver’s seat. That’s why you must learn to deal with it as a Christian.
What Happens When We Don’t Deal with Anger Properly?
1. We open a door to the evil one in our lives.
“Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.”
Ephesians 4:26-27
2. It may lead us to make foolish choices or decisions.
“Be not quick to anger, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools.”
Ecclesiastes 7:9
3. It can lead to the destructive forces of bitterness and hate.
“For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.”
James 3:16
4. It may hurt others with words or actions, thus sinning against God.
“For the anger of man does not work the righteousness of God.”
James 1:20
How to Deal with Anger as a Christian
- Do not react to the provocation immediately. You may destroy something instead of repairing it.
- If possible, take yourself out of the situation. If you cannot do this, stay silent and focus on holding yourself together.
- Remind yourself that the other person does not know better and is acting based on what they believe at the time.
- Reject negative thoughts and plans for revenge by praying for the other person, silently, there in the moment.
- Be willing to talk about it with the other person in the calmest way possible, with the goal of finding peace.
- Focus on pleasing God rather than on doing what feels good in the moment.
Your first step to controlling your anger is admitting it’s an issue and you need help. If you are at that point, the help of God can reach you.
If I could gain control, then you can too. Open up your heart to the influence of the spirit of Christ in love, and you’ll be surprised how much good you’ll end up doing.
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