I Waited for God to Give Me a Child

When I got married years ago, I was excited about the whole idea of marriage. Growing up, I knew two things for sure: I loved Jesus and I wanted to be a mom. It was the next logical step after getting married to start trying for a baby. One year later, ten negative tests, and lots of stress later, I started to wonder what I was doing wrong.

I Prayed for a Child

Like Hannah (1 Samuel 1:9–28), I longed for a child, and not having one deeply pained me. I fervently prayed that the Lord would give me a chance to carry a child in my arms. I saw doctors, received weekly hormonal injections, and took test after test.

By the third year in, my hopes started to dwindle, I started to question the goodness of God. I wondered why a good father would withhold a good gift from my husband and me. Tests showed nothing wrong with me, which almost made it worse because I started to resent my husband.

Eventually, the tests showed nothing wrong with him, either. I remember kneeling down and begging God to take this trial away. I found church to be an all too painful reminder of my inability to conceive.

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I distanced myself from friends with kids. My childless friends could no longer relate to me. The crying of little babies in the mall would send me into fits of depression. I lost hope and let go of Jesus. My last prayer during that period was filled with bitterness and anger.

“The Lord Has Granted Me What I Asked”

Three months later, on a routine hospital visit, I found out I was pregnant. I remember sitting in the car outside the lab and crying. I cried deep, heart-wrenching tears. My tears were not so much tears of relief as they were tears of regret.

I had thrown away years of God’s faithfulness over having to wait for His answer. I remember thinking how the pursuit of a child had become an idol in my eyes. How I had traded the unfailing promise that “never will I leave you nor forsake you” for a child. I forgot that the Lord gives and He takes away, but God is always faithful.

There is an old hymn I love that says, “Great is Thy faithfulness, oh Lord, my father, Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not, as Thou has been, Thou forever will be…“

Like Hannah, my heart humbly rejoiced:

“I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.”
1 Samuel 27

God’s Enduring Faithfulness

Throughout history, even before Christ, one feature of our sovereign God that has remained unquestionable is His faithfulness. He is reliable, trustworthy, ever true to his promise, and dependable.

When He promised Abraham a son, He delivered. The psalmist sang often about God’s faithfulness all his life. In 1 John, God promises forgiveness:

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
1 John 9

Often, in our humanity, we find it hard to trust in God’s faithfulness. Our human understanding is clouded by timelines, comparisons, and fear. We tend to limit God to our own understanding. We forget that His ways are higher than ours and His thoughts are as far as the heavens are from the earth. He is all-knowing, ever-present.

God can do what He says He will do. This is a fact. Today’s message is a call for us to trust a dependable God and ask Him to help us. Trust Him more. Rest in the knowledge that God is Faithful and cannot lie, because He simply cannot deny himself.

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