You are not alone (Michael Jackson cue anyone? I digress…)
Feeling sad and alone is one of the few shared experiences we have as human beings, regardless of circumstances. It could be anything from mental health struggles and grief to everyday frustrations actively weighing you down.
Let’s take a moment to appreciate how beautifully ironic that is: We are not alone in feeling alone.
Fortunately, you do not have to wallow in the ever-increasing darkness. With a few brave steps here and there and some help from God, you will be trading your sorrow for joy before you know it.
Let’s unpack – What is making you sad and lonely?
Before we get into all the juicy details on how to get rid of the funk, it is important to understand where it is coming from in the first place. Understanding the cause of sadness and loneliness is crucial to getting longer-lasting results. Otherwise, you will just be slapping a pretty band-aid on a festering wound. Here are a few of the most common causes.
Depression
Grief
You may have lost a loved one either to death or through the break of a relationship. What follows are the darkest moments of anyone’s life, marked by feelings of broken-heartedness and complete isolation.
According to the American Psychiatric Association, sadness and loneliness are 2 of the most common symptoms of depression. It is often associated with a general lack of motivation, apathy, low self-worth, etc.
Actual loneliness
This is becoming increasingly common in the current global situation. Not being able to see your friends, classmates, and colleagues will take a toll. This is particularly nasty if you live alone or are stranded away from your loved ones.
The worst of them all: no good reason
Feeling sad and alone can sometimes not be traced to any specific reason. You wake up one day with things more or less normal but with a massive pit in your stomach. This is normal. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t overthink it. The funk will phase out.
How to stop feeling sad and alone
1. Talk about it
Holding on to the feelings that hurt you is not doing yourself any favors. It is like holding on to a time bomb instead of asking for help diffusing it. Opening up lets you enjoy a cathartic release, which is much more therapeutic than you could ever imagine.
2. Let people in
Feeling sad and alone is sometimes best handled by letting the people who love you take care of you. Pick that check-in call your parents make every once in a while. Say yes to a lunch date with your friends to catch up. Being around such loving and positive energy will do wonders for even the most broken souls.
3. Take some time for self-reflection
This is important as it will help you identify the cause of the problem. Understanding or, at the very least, determining what is wrong is a massive piece of the puzzle regarding getting rid of feelings of sadness and loneliness.
4. Get a healthy distraction
While ignoring the issue is problematic, a little distraction every now and then will not hurt. It could be a hobby like reading or going to the gym. The best part is that it doesn’t have to be super productive. Watch your favorite TV show or jam to some music. Your brain deserves that rush of endorphins.
5. Do not self-isolate
Say it with me, “Loneliness is not the cure to loneliness.”
This happens a lot in cases of depression or even sadness due to grief. Your instinct may be to isolate yourself. Maybe you do not want to be around anyone at that point. It could be you feel like you would be a burden.
It may be hard to accept, but no one looks at you that way. You don’t even have to talk or engage if you don’t want to. Just do not isolate yourself in such moments.
6. Be kind to yourself
Guilt and self-hate are often associated with feeling sad and lonely, and you might be a little too harsh with yourself. Resist the urge to be unkind to yourself. Instead, continuously appreciate your efforts and the small wins. It will make all the difference in the world.
7. Remind yourself that everything is temporary
This, too, shall pass. It may pass like a kidney stone, but in the end, you will be happy and content once more. Keep repeating this to yourself, and your mind will get along with the program. The idea of a light at the end of the tunnel helps a lot.
8. Consider getting professional help
Some fights, including depression and grief, are best fought with professional backup, so get some help. Whether it is counseling or medication, having extra help will help you where the power of positive thinking is lacking and will not.
9. Take care of what you can…
If the distress is due to circumstances that you can change, then do something about it. Clearing up your plate reduces feelings of pressure and frustration that inevitably morph into sadness and loneliness.
10. …leave the rest to God
“Why my soul are you downcast? So disturbed within me? Put your hope in God…”
Psalm 42:11
If the reasons you are feeling sad and alone are beyond your control, then leave it all to God. He knows what you are going through and is in the best position to pull you out of the darkness. And if you are feeling lonely, remember His message through Matthew:
“I am with you always, even to the end of the age”
Matthew 28:20
Bottom line
Feeling sad and alone is normal and common, and the best part is that it does not have to be a life sentence. Just will yourself to take a few steps towards the light every day. There is no pressure whatsoever.
No one expects you to return to normal and “be positive” into a great headspace. However, you cannot afford to ignore the problem. The good news is that you now have ten simple steps to help you through these challenging times. And with God on your team, you are guaranteed a win.
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