How Do You Know They’re the One? What Christian Relationship Coach Justine Mfulama Says

You’ve searched, prayed, and waited on God. You finally meet a potential dating partner. What now? 

It’s fine to date casually without being marriage-minded right away. It’s important to know you can have fun together and enjoy each other! But if you’re looking for a life partner, you may be asking other questions: How do you measure compatibility? Should you get serious right away? Is this what God wants?

Have You Finally Met The One?

We recently posed a series of questions to Justine Mfulama, a certified dating, relationship and life coach. Justine teaches on self-love, mastery of the mind, and confidence through her faith-based dating and relationship advice. 

We posed a series of questions to Justine about dating as a Christian, and she responded on the important issue of how to know whether or not the person you are with is destined to be your life partner. She explains that when beginning a relationship, you are advised to honor your partner as the brother or sister in Christ that they are. You should also be purposeful in the relationship with mutual respect, placing God at the center of every action and decision. 

After that, you have to look at the following factors:

1. Chemistry

First, the chemistry: this is the glue that keeps you hooked and ignites the flame of happiness in the relationship. You need to find out if you’re attracted spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally. When your chemistry flows, many other things will naturally fall into place.

2. Compatibility

But it’s not just about attraction. To create a healthy courtship, you and your partner should have similar visions. You should talk freely about your individual values, beliefs, faith, family, and goals to figure out if they match. Ensuring that you share values and aspirations in life is the real proof that you are compatible for the long haul. You should not feel like you must give up a part of who you are, sacrifice your goals, or ignore the Holy Spirit’s leading just to please your partner. 

3. Commitment

Your potential partner should demonstrate a willingness to commit to you, and you to them. If they don’t, maybe they are not meant to be. Simply put, as Justine says, “the right person at the wrong time is still the wrong person.”

4. Trust and Honesty

You should be in a committed relationship with someone who has earned your trust and is honest in all dealings. Through these qualities, you’ll experience peace, happiness, and a reason to reciprocate your partner’s investment in the relationship.

5. Authenticity

Having a partner with whom you can be yourself in their presence without any pretense or fear is a strong indicator that the two of you can get along. You’re on the right track if your partner accepts you unconditionally (even with all your flaws!) and without being judgemental.

6. Responsibility

Responsibility is a strong indicator for wisdom and maturity. A mature person will take responsibility for their actions and work on any areas of concern without becoming defensive. He or she will listen to your corrections out of love and will equally correct you and give you wise counsel out of love for the eventual success of your union.

7. Fear of the Lord

To crown it all, a good partner MUST have the fear of God. Fearing God means to be in awe of His holiness, give Him complete reverence, and honor him as the God of glory, majesty, purity, and power.

The Bible says: 

“The fear of the LORD leads to life, and he who has it will abide in satisfaction; he will not be visited with evil.”

Proverbs 19:23

This scripture clearly states that a partner whose faith is anchored in God will generally act right and be respectful. Through an intimate relationship with God, your romantic relationships become even stronger and work together for God’s glory.

Surrender: The Most Important Rule

So what is the most important rule to follow as a Christian while dating?

Above all, Justine says, you should fully surrender your relationship to God. Elevate Him above everything else, acknowledge Him with every step, and seek His guidance when making decisions. When you do that, He will fight your battles, strengthen you, and guide all your relationships for life.